Tuesday, January 31, 2006

the new soundtrack to my life

Second City alum Rick Moranis has a country album!


It's like Weird Al meets Adam Block,
and I love every second of the two songs that are available online.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

hate to get all political on you...

If you didn't see the report on ABC News by Chief Investigative reporter Brian Ross on the corruption among the U.S. Supreme Court justices two nights ago, you missed out. A hidden camera was taken to a Ritz Carlton and video taped Antonin Scalia enjoying cocktails, fly fishing and tennis while John Roberts was being sworn in the same day in D.C. He was the main guest at a conference for the Federalist Society, a super conservative organization of lawyers and "policy makers."

So, isn't Scalia a little worried about the appearance of something unethical? Probably not. He's the staunchest conservative on the bench and doesn't take shit from anyone. If Dick Cheyney was a justice, he would be Scalia. And I'd like to say it's just Scalia, but the token push over on the bench, Clarence Thomas, is also at fault according to documents found by ABC.

There was a funny bit in the report about Thomas' love of NASCAR and how he was given an $800 leather jacket, a Bible once held by famed orator Frederick Douglas worth $19,000 (wtf!) and other things.

You should check out the report in full.

I'd like to say "I knew it, all government is corrupt, blah blah," but for some reason I never expected this. Figure it out for yourself!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

LFK - Amputeelove

I thought I'd add another LFK. I heard about this one from my boss while discussing clown porn. She told me there exists a large group of fetishists getting hot on amputees. Here's a little wikipedia lesson on the amputee fetish full of interesting technical terms and jargon:

Amputee Fetishism is a fetish focused on amputations, generally of limbs. An Internet virtual community exists, with its own special terminology.
Two subtypes of this fetish are generally recognized. Acrotomophilia is an intense desire for one's partner to be an amputee. Acrotomophiles are also known as "devotees." Apotemnophilia is an intense desire to be an amputee. Aptemnophiles are also known as "wannabes." With each, the presence or absence of artificial limbs as an added stimulant is a personal matter for the fetishist.
Amputation fetishism is a paraphilia, a focus on a specific body part or inanimate object. it is technically a form of Teratophilia, sexual attraction to a "deformed or monstrous person".
A "pretender" is a "wannabe" who acts out aptemnophilic fantasies, sometimes in public, usually through limb-binding and the use of loose clothing.

The amputee sites that I found contain a wealth of information devoted to the sexy and stumped. Many of the photos aren't always concerned with nudity, with the amputee clothed displaying his or her "hot, naked stump" (a quote from an amputee site I found). There are many sub-fetishes associated with amputeelove and here are some informative websites:

Stumpophilia - this is a good place to find naked amputees
Ampulove - sort of a forum for amputees and friends
Disablo - disability movies
Castlove - this is a pretty interesting one for people who get off on the injured and casted

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

LFK - Clown Porn

Since the majority of these posts are leaning towards fetish discussions, I thought I'd add something I found today. It's called Clown Porn and it's just what it sounds like - porno, but with the faces of the women and men painted like those carney creatures we were either fascinated with as children or feared like the dickens.

Here's a little taste of what's available
in the Clown Porn industry:

Now, this isn't necessarily a harcore, true fetish like felching, belly punching and blumpkins [look that up if you don't know]. I believe it started as a joke by some dudes, or something, but I'm sure it gets someone hot. You can check out the Clown Porn website for more information, freak.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

a welcome to myself

I supposed Patrick was right. He didn't say this exactly, but my own blog is stale and I've decided to come here for a little more inspiration. I'll keep the pickles going occasionally, but I'll devote more of my time to the peppers. Also, I really think the name of this blog should change from a shout out to this guy:

To an hommage to someone more like this:

On another note, my cat has a bladder infection. She hasn't had one of these since she was a kitten, which was ten years ago when I was in sixth grade. The ironic part is I too have a urinary tract infection at the same time as Sugar, my cat. I've always thought that we've been on some deeper, emotional level than other owner/pet relationships. Like girlfriends having their periods at the same time, although we can't really enjoy that because Sugar doesn't have a uterus anymore. We're both on antibiotics in case you're wondering, and hopefully I'll find some urine in her box today. I'll notify as soon as I find some.

Friday, January 13, 2006

LFK Week 3- Felching

Sorry for the delay, NYC took a lot of energy out of me. But I think after reading this week's LFK, you'll understand that some things are worth waiting for.

So without further adieu,


Felching is a sexual practice in which a person sucks semen out of another person's vagina or anus. The semen is usually that of the person doing the sucking, though this is not always the case.
The term can also refer to sucking
enema fluid from a person's vagina or anus, though this definition is much less common. Milk, water, urine, beer, orange juice, or spritzer are often used in this kind of enema, though introducing alcohol into the anal cavity carries a high risk of death through alcohol poisoning as the rectum absorbs fluids far more quickly than orally-ingested fluids. Milk is a popular fluid due to its likeness in colour to semen. It is often squirted into the mouth of the sexual partner and shared between them both.
The term is also used in reference to several other sex acts, specifically:
urban legend, the act of inserting small animals (more specifically, rodents such as hamsters, gerbils or mice) into the anus or vagina, which is a form of zoophilia. (See gerbilling.); or
The act of
defecating on one's partner's torso, which is a form of coprophilia.
Felcher is used as derogatory term; goat felcher is popular in many
Internet forums. Felcher has also been used as slang in the United States Air Force to describe airmen who masturbate excessively.
Felch is also a sound effect to be used in
shock entertainment. it is when a person farts so that it sounds wet.

For further reading:

As a personal note, I'm not often judgemental in presenting LFK, but I have to say- the definition of felching that involves animals is disturbing. Now, if you want to felch humanely, then I'm all for it. So felch along LFKers, just leave the gerbils out of it. And by it, I mean your asshole.

Monday, January 02, 2006

I guess the Lord must be in New York City

Tomorrow morning Katie and I leave for a week-long vacation in NYC. So I'm gonna hit you up with some LFK a little early this week, just don't expect it to be updated again until the 11th or so.

In case you're interested in tracking our trip, you can see us:

-on TRL! (we'll be there Thursday, but it may not air 'till Friday, so tune in both days if you want to be sure to spot us- we'll be playing the part of "hyperventilating adolescents" (unless the guy from Laguna Beach is really our only "celebrity guest," then I will be playing the part of "dissapointed TRL fan who doesn't recognize this "celebrity." in this case- please note my face comedy)
-at CONAN!!! (we'll be at the Friday show, Jan. 6th, with Nathan Lane and Sarah Chalke, so keep an eye out for us, although they rarely show the audience)
-at The Colbert Report!!!!! (we'll be at the Monday, Jan. 9th taping, but they NEVER show the audience, so only expect to hear our laughter)
-at ASSSCAT!!!!! (this will not be televised, of course, but I just wanted to brag that we'll be going to ASSSCAT again)


if you happen to live in the city, or you'll be there these days, you should come:
-see my stand up debut (open mic- only 5 minutes) at the Comedy Cellar on Wednesday, Jan. 4th
-see Katie and I perform "The Pat Robertson Hour" (a 5 minute skit we wrote) at the UCB theatre, on Friday, Jan. 6th, as part of their Liquid Courage show.

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